1. |
Driver's License
00:47
|
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I want to be an angel.
I want to wear a halo on my head.
I want to see you from the sky.
I want to drive my car into a mountainside
Die in a fiery wreck, but I can't.
They took away my driver's license.
|
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2. |
Matchgame Copkiller
01:10
|
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Hit me!
Not so hard though.
I always liked men in leather, sure, but Good Golly.
My name is Charles Nelson Reilly and I have a story to tell you.
Now listen, I know you pulled me over and I was going really fast
but that's not my cocaine, it's some else's.
I swear to God!
Hey put that down. Give me back my cocaine!
Oops! I mean that's someone else's, just ask my Mom.
Oh my God!
Ahhhhh, I gotta go to Boca Raton, so I'll see you later.
Stop shooting at me! Oh my God!
You're gonna mess up my wig.
Listen I got a story to tell you.
Um, it's really complicated but something really bad
happened to me and I need you to protect me.
Okay, there was this really bad man and
he was chasing after me and he lead me
into this dark alley.
And well, the long and the short of it is
Charles Nelson Reilly stole my watch.
|
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3. |
Martan Plot
00:59
|
|||
We first heard the news
We thought it was some Martian plot.
We even saw their book
but there was something that we forgot.
The Martians call themselves Martans
because they never use an "i."
So there plot was a pilot.
They're watching from the sky.
So there plot was a pilot.
If the critics don't like their invasion
they'll go back up to the sky
without another word.
THUMBS DOWN!
|
||||
4. |
By Your Bootstraps
01:56
|
|||
Pick myself up by your bootstraps.
I depend on your good graces.
Emptied coffers from El Paso to Via del Torres,
and I hope that I'll not here.
Clear a space out for my body.
Pick myself up by your bootstraps.
I depend on your good graces.
I pick myself up by your boot straps.
I'll try not to tear the joints of your good graces.
|
||||
5. |
Bagel Hunch
01:29
|
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I have a hunch about bagels.
It is my and my and my constituents firm belief
that bagels are keeping the world safe
from the dangerous men from Planet Q.
The bagels keep our young girls
pure in their state of virginity.
The bagels keep the world safe
from molds and germs.
The bagels keep the world safe
from humidity.
The bagels keep the world safe
in a state of virginity
a state of virginity like Virginia
a state of virginity like West Virginia
a state of virginity like virgin
or the US Virgin Islands
or some other British Consulate
less remote and more pure.
|
||||
6. |
Chew on this, Chuckles
00:57
|
|||
Chew on this Chuckles.
Get an upside frown.
Watch your dreams get sneak-fucked
by an apoplectic clown.
Chew on this Chuckles
And all you ever wanted
[inaudible]
But like the song you ever wanted
Sneak-fucked all the same.
Chew on this, Chuckles.
Pain!
Chew away!
Chew away!
|
||||
7. |
??
01:00
|
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8. |
Styrofoam Union
01:06
|
|||
Ah, we're gonna form a union
at the styrofoam plant.
The man says, "No, no union here."
You can't have a union without tax breaks.
You can't have a union if you don't own the town.
You can't have a union if you don't own the union.
|
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9. |
Unnamed Instrument
02:10
|
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10. |
Unplanned Finger
00:56
|
|||
She was likin' brunch.
She was not expecting
the finger.
Hah! I got you.
Now for lunch,
the fist,
baby.
|
||||
11. |
Surf or Consequences
01:17
|
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